In the previous two columns addressing the confusing and disheartening topic of spiritual abuse, we attempted to help people identify and recognize the symptoms and continuum of degrees of religious abuse within the church. To conclude this subject, we want to help people, including past victims of abuse, to discern the heart, motive and style of relating typical to an authentic pastor’s heart. Hopefully when they ever face a counterfeit leader, they will recognize distinct differences.

Genuine godly leaders welcome searching and questioning without being punitive to those who express doubts about a variety of topics from doctrinal issues to church finances. They realize people need to be free to ask as they seek and search for truth. They don’t perceive questions as rebellious. They welcome inquiry. They minister an attitude of acceptance. When dissatisfied parishioners leave the fellowship, a safe leader won’t demand that everyone disassociate from them. Those notorious religious leaders that make headlines, like David Koresh, Jim Jones, and Rajneesh, have shared tragic consequences from their demanded, unquestioning allegiance. More recently a religious leader housed his multitude of wives and family in an isolated compound. He surrounded himself with followers who do not doubt the leader’s behavior choices. Godly leaders do not exploit their followers, nor do they extort from them or violate their trust.

A genuine godly leader will teach and preach doctrines that line up with Bible scriptures that readers can verify for themselves. They do not add new revelation, especially ones that can be selfishly motivated. “God told me that you are required to buy me a new Cadillac (or let me have a dozen wives, let me take the building fund, or quit smoking).” Probably not! Safe leaders do not add more rules or tie on more burdens.

Safe leaders keep accurate financial records. They welcome appropriate auditing and accountability.