Less religion, more politics, please

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Thursday, June 26, 2008 | 3 comment(s)

Yet another New York Times writer took a public pratfall recently, but for once it was easy to sympathize. The embarrassed scribe was Timothy Egan, the Seattle-based reporter who’s simply one of the best. No matter the topic, from strip-mining in West Virginia to prairie restoration in Oklahoma, if Egan’s writing, I’m reading. Providing a forum for reporters like him strikes me as the best reason to hope national newspapers like the Times survive the digital revolution.

Egan made an error of generosity: He praised a TV preacher for acting like a Christian. Alas, he was mistaken. The holy man was the Rev. Rick Warren, author of “The Purpose Driven Life.” In the newspaper’s online edition, Egan wrote that by opening his Southern California “megachurch” to a group of gay fathers, Warren was “not just living up to the highest standards of Christian fellowship, he’s turning the page on a particularly embarrassing part of our politics.”

 But, uh-oh, the event never happened. Editors added a postscript: Despite the gay fathers’ announced intention to worship at Saddleback Church, Warren issued a statement. “We did not invite this group, and I will not be meeting with them.” The pastor would be elsewhere that Sunday. A previous commitment, you see. Funny how that happens. Somehow, I don’t believe his Lord and Savior would have handled it that way.

 Too bad, because Egan had a great idea: Given the embarrassments visited upon both presidential candidates by their respective spiritual advisers in 2008, how about “a clean break? Let’s go godless for the rest of the campaign.”

 Can I get an amen? Face it: You can’t believe anything politicians say about religion, anyway. But no, it’s not going to happen. Egan points out that, in 1960, John F. Kennedy, the nation’s only Catholic president, announced his belief “in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute.” (Translation: The Pope wouldn’t be selecting his Cabinet.) Kennedy said a president’s “views on religion are his own private affair.”

 Which, given JFK’s relentless skepticism and mordant wit, probably saved him a lot of play-acting. He definitely understood the view Jefferson, Madison and the Founding Fathers embedded into the U.S. Constitution: Excess entanglement between church and state corrupts both government and religion.

 Thanks in part to Nixon’s “Southern Strategy,” candidates today feel compelled to declare their piety. The results are often embarrassing and sometimes unintentionally hilarious.

To quote that great Imaginary-American Huckleberry Finn, “it would make a cow laugh” to see a cocky, wisecracking flyboy like Sen. John McCain pretending to heed the spiritual teachings of the Rev. John Hagee, whose endorsement the GOP candidate avidly sought, accepted, then abruptly declined as his more preposterous views began to get attention.

Hagee’s the kind of fundamentalist swami who discerns messages in the weather. He declared Hurricane Katrina the Lord’s vengeance for a New Orleans gay-pride parade. Because as we all know, the Creator of this vast and swirling cosmos remains, like, totally creeped out by the sexual antics of His favorite primate species.

Except for preachers who get caught doing meth with hookers. Them, he forgives.

Like most of his ilk, Hagee goes oddly silent when tornadoes tear up Baptist churches and Boy Scout encampments. He denounces the “Whore of Rome” and issues apocalyptic predictions about the End Times — a practice Jesus unambiguously called futile. If there weren’t so many gullible fools out in TV-land, Hagee would end up sitting in a mobile home on the seedy edge of town wearing a turban and peering into a crystal ball.

Then there’s Sen. Barack Obama and the marginally less ridiculous Rev. Jeremiah Wright. To my knowledge, Wright refrains from soothsaying. But AIDS as a white-invented plague to kill African-Americans? People, it doesn’t get much crazier than that. And Obama never knew? Give. Me. A. Break.

Also, the Rev. Michael Pfleger, the Catholic priest who evidently fancies himself a standup comic. Um, Father, I’d advise you to get right with the Cardinal and keep your day job. Your impression of Hillary Clinton weeping about losing to a black man? Not getting it.

Will the Clown Cars never quit arriving from Chicago?

On the hippy-dippy left, the San Francisco Chronicle’s Mark Morford suggests Obama’s a “Lightworker,” a “rare kind of attuned being who ... can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet.”

Dude! The man’s a Chicago politician.

Because Morford’s normally funny, I submitted his column to a panel of experts, including a professional comic and a literary scholar specializing in satire. What’s Morford been smoking? We can’t tell.

Meanwhile, a Washington journalist I once respected has accused your humble, obedient servant here of being a clandestine operative of the dread Clinton Machine for resisting Obama’s premature canonization. An expose has been threatened.

So, are we talking about a political movement or a cult?

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette columnist Gene Lyons is a national magazine award winner and author.
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Whisper wrote on Jul 9, 2008 1:43 PM:

Senator Obama couldn’t confront his Pastor, but he wants us to believe he can confront No. Korea and Iran?
He belonged for over 20 years to an “Afro-Centric” church in Chicago that hates whites, hates Jews, and blames America for all of the world’s perceived faults (including creating the AIDs virus in order to inflict it on Africans!)
Sen. Obama repeatedly whitewashed the Pastor, his church and the members who cheered after hearing the vitriolic tirades against America. They should take out their video cameras!

Quit SHOUTING wrote on Jul 4, 2008 7:55 PM:

All of what was said in this piece is why we need LESS of religious quacks (on BOTH sides).

Do you copy, or do I need to put a piece of gum under MY caps lock key?

RELIGION wrote on Jul 3, 2008 8:32 AM:

SENATOR OBAMA COULD NOT CONFRONT HIS PASTOR BUT HE WANTS US TO BELIEVE HE CAN CONFRONT NORTH KOREA AND IRAN?
HE BELONGED FOR OVER 20 YEARS, TO AN 'AFRO-CENTRIC' CHURCH IN CHICAGO THAT HATES WHITES, HATES JEWS, AND BLAMES AMERICA FOR ALL THE WORLD'S PERCEIVED FAULTS.(INCLUDING CREATING THE AIDs VIRUS IN ORDER TO INFLICT IT ON AFRICANS)
HE REPEATEDLY WHITEWASHED THE PASTOR, HIS CHURCH AND THE MEMBERS WHO CHEERED AFTER HEARING VITRIOLIC TIRADES AGAINST AMERICA.

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