Dear Grandparenting: I must have a very strong heart because I didn’t keel over when I walked in on my granddaughter having sex. I think I was more embarrassed than she was actually. I went into the kitchen to regain my composure and prepared my little speech, but by then she and her boyfriend had already slipped out the patio door.



Kayla called to apologize later that afternoon. The last thing she said before hanging up was “please don’t tell my parents. They hate Sammy.” He’s the boyfriend.

So what do I do now? Part of me thinks her parents have the need to know that their daughter is sexually active. But another part of me thinks it’s really nobody’s business but Kayla’s. After all, she’s 18 and hardly a child anymore. — Just call me “Perplexed” Columbus, Ohio

Dear Perplexed: Reading between the lines, it sounds like Kayla’s parents are troubled more by her choice of Sammy than the fact that she’s chosen to become sexually active, which we suspect they already know. Like it or not, seven out of 10 teens have engaged in sexual intercourse by the time they reach age 19, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a leading think tank on sexual issues. And while we don’t condone such pre-marital romps, we know many look on them with a certain air of inevitability.

Talk to her parents if you will, but we’d be more concerned about talking to Kayla about the risks of her behavior, including pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Grand Remark   

Kathy Parker from Medford, Ore., was having a hard time with her 6-year-old grandson, Michael. “I want to go home, and I want to go home now!” he said, pointing his finger at her.

“And I want a million bucks!” said Kathy, trying to explain that we can’t always get what we want.

“Take me home,” replied Michael, “and I’ll get it from my Mom!”

(Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome questions, suggestions and Grand Remarks of the Week. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285.)