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Afraid to trust
By Dee and Tom Hardie, and Key Kidder, Columnists
Friday, April 18, 2008 10:36 AM PDT
Dear Grandparenting: They say that wisdom comes with age. But words completely failed me in my grandson John’s hour of need. John was just beginning to hit his stride. He was a “love child” born five months after my daughter eloped. His parents soon separated and started acting out their anger on little John, who grew up with a black cloud over his head because he could not trust anyone not to hurt him.
Then Tracey came along. John met her his sophomore year in high school. They started hanging out together because Tracey shared the same pain. Her parents also were divorced. John and Tracey started dating. Things were definitely looking up.
John’s dad and Tracey’s mom met through their kids. Can you guess what happened? They fell in love and got married. That meant that John and Tracey were like brother and sister in the eyes of society. Next the whispers started at their school about incest. The other kids were so cruel and the pressure got so intense that Tracey dropped out and left the state to live with an aunt.
That black cloud is back. John just goes through the motions now. He walks around like a zombie. Who can blame him? Just when John was beginning to learn to trust another human being, he gets burned again. What’s a grandmother to do or say? — Mrs. T.S., Piqua Ohio
Dear T.S.: What a horror story! Even under the best of circumstances, many will wander a long and winding road to regain lost trust. But when life deals you a rotten hand like that, we’d make a beeline for professional counseling.
Grand Remark
Kaye from Waynesboro, Penn., passed along this gem from her granddaughter, Lindsay. Since their father works in homebuilding, Lindsay and her brother, Jacob, are beginning to learn the “lingo” used in the construction trades.
Last summer, when Kaye went swimming with Lindsay at the lake, she complemented her granddaughter on her new two-piece swimsuit. “Thank you Grandma,” said Lindsay. “This is my two-by-two, and Jacob has a one-by-one!”
(Dee and Tom welcome letters to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285.) |