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What kind of a friend are you?
By Kendal Rautzhan, Columnist
Monday, February 11, 2008 | No comments posted.
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote of friendship that “It is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone believes in him and is willing to trust him.” Unfortunately, this kind of friendship can be difficult to find.
Many of us have been burned in friendship. It may be the friend that was once enraptured by your company, doing all sorts of nice things for you, gaining your trust and confidence. Then, for undisclosed reasons, or perhaps when that person didn’t get what they wanted in the relationship, they begin to ignore you, talk behind your back, make a case against you, ultimately delivering the silent, powerful message that you are no longer wanted. Ironically, this person is still “friendly” to your face.
That’s not friendship. That’s the kind of person who gives to get.
Much of what we learn about being a friend comes from how we are raised, what we observe in friendships our parents establish, and our own life experiences. Today’s reviewed books are about friendship and the different forms it can take.
Nobody is perfect, and when we stop expecting perfection of another, the greater chance a true friendship can blossom — one built on trust and belief in the goodness of another. Remember, the kind of friend you are to others likely will be the kind of friend your child becomes. Make your example worth copying.
Books to Borrow
The following book is available at many public libraries.
“The Breaker Boys” by Pat Hughes, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 247 pages
Read aloud: ages 8-9 and older.
Read yourself: ages 9-10 and older.
It is 1897, and Nate Tanner lives in a mansion in Pennsylvania overlooking the coal mines that his family owns. A lot is expected of Nate, but he can’t keep out of trouble, which keeps Nate’s father cold and distant from him.
What Nate needs more than anything is a friend, and he finds one in Johnny, a Polish American boy who works as a breaker boy in the coal mines owned by the Tanner family. The friendship must remain secret, though — a secret held from Nate’s family and from Johnny. Nate fabricates lies to keep his true identity from Johnny, but in the process he learns many horrible truths about the conditions under which the coal miners and their families live. When violence erupts, Nate’s allegiance is torn and he must find the courage to do what is right.
Briskly written with sensitivity and honesty, this superior novel explores issues as relevant today as they were in 1897 in coal country.
Books to Buy
The following books are available at favorite bookstores.
n “Night Running: How James Escaped with the Help of His Faithful Dog” by Elisa Carbone, illustrated by E.B. Lewis, Alfred A. Knopf, 2008, 40 pages, $16.99 hardcover
Read aloud: age 5 and older.
Read yourself: age 8 and older.
In 1838, James makes a secret plan to escape from Master Graham’s farm — and slavery. James shares his plan with his two friends — a fellow boy slave, Levi, and his best friend, Zeus, his old hunting dog. James tells Zeus he can’t take him north because he’ll only bring trouble for James, but Zeus knows better.
When Levi betrays James’ secret, it is Zeus that rescues him. It is Zeus that guards James while he sleeps. It is Zeus who attacks the slave-catcher dogs and leads James far from the threatening men. And it is Zeus who refuses to be left behind on the shores of the Ohio River, once again saving James’ life.
Based on a true story, “Night Running” is an extraordinary story of friendship and courage.
n “Sam’s New Friend” by Thierry Robberecht, illustrated by Philippe Goossens, Clarion, 2007, 26 pages, $12.00 hardcover
Read aloud: ages 3-4 and older.
Read yourself: 7 and older.
At the playground, Sam NEVER plays with the girls. He only plays with the boys because boys are strong and brave, and girls are not. But when circumstances require Sam to spend time with the new girl in his class, Sam learns that girls can be just as brave and strong as boys. The experience changes the way Sam thinks and behaves.
A clever story about friendship and misconceptions, “Sam’s New Friend” resonates with several important messages.
(Nationally syndicated, Kendal Rautzhan writes and lectures on children’s literature. She can be reached via e-mail: kendal@sunlink.net.)
Many of us have been burned in friendship. It may be the friend that was once enraptured by your company, doing all sorts of nice things for you, gaining your trust and confidence. Then, for undisclosed reasons, or perhaps when that person didn’t get what they wanted in the relationship, they begin to ignore you, talk behind your back, make a case against you, ultimately delivering the silent, powerful message that you are no longer wanted. Ironically, this person is still “friendly” to your face.
That’s not friendship. That’s the kind of person who gives to get.
Much of what we learn about being a friend comes from how we are raised, what we observe in friendships our parents establish, and our own life experiences. Today’s reviewed books are about friendship and the different forms it can take.
Nobody is perfect, and when we stop expecting perfection of another, the greater chance a true friendship can blossom — one built on trust and belief in the goodness of another. Remember, the kind of friend you are to others likely will be the kind of friend your child becomes. Make your example worth copying.
Books to Borrow
The following book is available at many public libraries.
“The Breaker Boys” by Pat Hughes, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 247 pages
Read aloud: ages 8-9 and older.
Read yourself: ages 9-10 and older.
It is 1897, and Nate Tanner lives in a mansion in Pennsylvania overlooking the coal mines that his family owns. A lot is expected of Nate, but he can’t keep out of trouble, which keeps Nate’s father cold and distant from him.
What Nate needs more than anything is a friend, and he finds one in Johnny, a Polish American boy who works as a breaker boy in the coal mines owned by the Tanner family. The friendship must remain secret, though — a secret held from Nate’s family and from Johnny. Nate fabricates lies to keep his true identity from Johnny, but in the process he learns many horrible truths about the conditions under which the coal miners and their families live. When violence erupts, Nate’s allegiance is torn and he must find the courage to do what is right.
Briskly written with sensitivity and honesty, this superior novel explores issues as relevant today as they were in 1897 in coal country.
Books to Buy
The following books are available at favorite bookstores.
n “Night Running: How James Escaped with the Help of His Faithful Dog” by Elisa Carbone, illustrated by E.B. Lewis, Alfred A. Knopf, 2008, 40 pages, $16.99 hardcover
Read aloud: age 5 and older.
Read yourself: age 8 and older.
In 1838, James makes a secret plan to escape from Master Graham’s farm — and slavery. James shares his plan with his two friends — a fellow boy slave, Levi, and his best friend, Zeus, his old hunting dog. James tells Zeus he can’t take him north because he’ll only bring trouble for James, but Zeus knows better.
When Levi betrays James’ secret, it is Zeus that rescues him. It is Zeus that guards James while he sleeps. It is Zeus who attacks the slave-catcher dogs and leads James far from the threatening men. And it is Zeus who refuses to be left behind on the shores of the Ohio River, once again saving James’ life.
Based on a true story, “Night Running” is an extraordinary story of friendship and courage.
n “Sam’s New Friend” by Thierry Robberecht, illustrated by Philippe Goossens, Clarion, 2007, 26 pages, $12.00 hardcover
Read aloud: ages 3-4 and older.
Read yourself: 7 and older.
At the playground, Sam NEVER plays with the girls. He only plays with the boys because boys are strong and brave, and girls are not. But when circumstances require Sam to spend time with the new girl in his class, Sam learns that girls can be just as brave and strong as boys. The experience changes the way Sam thinks and behaves.
A clever story about friendship and misconceptions, “Sam’s New Friend” resonates with several important messages.
(Nationally syndicated, Kendal Rautzhan writes and lectures on children’s literature. She can be reached via e-mail: kendal@sunlink.net.)
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