Arla, you are the love of my life, my helpmate, best friend, work partner and valentine. I treasure our 37 years of marriage and the blessings we enjoy in our counseling work together for the past 20 years.

When I think about describing you, the word that tops the list? Love. You have loved me and our three children with a genuine, passionate love. You use your innate ability to affirm and acknowledge our positives but you love us enough to hold up the mirror so we can look at things we need to change or improve. Another Arla adjective: nurturing mother. You loved our children by eating well during your pregnancies and nurturing them from the moment they came out of the womb. You loved our children by enjoying them fully at each developmental stage. You love our entire family by standing in the gap and praying for us during times of struggle and hardship. You demonstrate your love through your daily, sacrificial giving of time and energy. You thoroughly enjoyed the thousands of miles we traveled for the kids’ sporting events. You loved them by encouraging them to think, have opinions and express their feelings as long as they were respectful.

You always gave your best to our children in the way of intentional care and quality time. You educated them, played with them, fed them nutritiously and genuinely listened to them — catching every word with delight. How many nights did you stay up late with the kids, having deep conversations and entering into their world? You are a master at that, my love. You have worked to maintain friendship and involvement as they have developed into adults. I love watching you and Ruthie bound out the driveway, chatting a mile a minute on your daily dog walks. I am attracted to your selfless, daily commitment to family, marriage, counseling work and the Lord. I enjoy sharing these commitments with you.

You’ve loved me through three years of ballroom dance lessons in spite of my negative self-talk and junior high-ish anxiety symptoms. You lovingly stood beside me and placed your supportive hand on my shoulder as I broke up speaking at Dad’s memorial service last April.

Your sense of humor and willingness to laugh at yourself makes our home fun and healthy. Your salty humor sometimes shocks people, but also helps loosen them up. You say things that others only think, but have too much self-deceit to share.

I admire your depth of sharing and willing vulnerability. You disclose in such a refreshing and honest way that it encourages others to open up and share as well. I have learned and grown watching your reveal your heart and hurts, blessings and failings. I need more work. You delightfully engage with all types of people far below the surface of most people’s comfortable communication levels. Your tender-hearted compassion blesses everyone.

You are strong in ministering God’s grace and love to people, including our family. You live your favorite scripture, Romans 2:4 “It is His kindness that leads us to repentance.” Arla, your kindness likewise helps me repent of my wrong doing and makes me want to be a better person.

I value your intelligence. I was proud when we graduated from college in 1973. You walked with the honors students while I walked in the “F” section, — alphabetical. I value the writing gifts the Lord has given you. Your words bless many people. I am pleased you are attending the writers’ workshop this weekend with Bob Welch and Jane Kirkpatrick. Enjoy the experience, my love.

I appreciate your athleticism. You have been willing to try my outdoor activities like hiking, golf, tennis, throwing the football and floating the Rogue River. You even snow skied; you hate the cold.

Last, you are beautiful, inside and out. I am a blessed man to have such a lovely wife. I adore your huge smile, especially with our progress in ballroom dancing which, despite my insecurities, has become fun. You light up my life, Hon. Your loving smile excites me as much as it did 38 years ago. I love the way God made you. I love your taste and smell. I inhale you. I love everything physically about you (without going into too much steamy detail here.) You still excite me, Baby! I thank God and you for having us wait for marriage for full physical expression of our love.

I owe much to you, Arla. Thanks for loving me through thick and thin, putting up with my obsessive/compulsive tendencies and other annoying quirks, and for contributing to my growth. You have always believed in me even when I haven’t. You encourage me to draw closer to the Savior because of your unfailing love.

Happy Valentine’s Day Sweetheart,

Your forever grateful husband, lover, and ballroom dance partner, Craig

(“Relationships” questions can be sent to Craig and Arla Ford, 3803 Vista Court, North Bend, OR 97459; or e-mail to the Fords at counsel@charter.net or by going to their Web site at www.craigandarla.com. Questions cannot be answered individually.)