Dear Grandparenting: I consider myself young at heart. One of the ways I stay fresh is by keeping company with my grandson Eddie and his friends. They often drop by after school for something to eat, and we all sit around the kitchen and talk. It gets pretty freewheeling, because I don’t have too many rules, and the kids can say what’s on their minds.

Eddie calls me “Big Ruthie,” just like all my other grandkids do. As for his friends, I insist on being called Mrs. Brown. This sometimes irritates Eddie. He says it’s too “rigid” or “formal.” But I say it’s my right to be addressed by my proper name, unless I give someone permission to do otherwise. Since when did it become OK for kids to call their elders by their first name? — Ruth Brown, Reading, Penn.

Dear Ruth: Some households consider it fashionable for children to use the first names of adults, but not ours. To our way of thinking, it blurs the lines that govern how children are expected to behave in polite society. To each their own, of course, but we try to discourage youngsters from believing they’re on equal footing with their elders. Does that mean we can’t be friends? Of course not — but households that use such formal language reinforce the notion that the young ones are not the generation that’s in charge!

Grand Remark

Byron Evans of Baltimore recently took his grandson Josh, age 7, to Gettysburg, Penn., to look at the Civil War battlefields. Afterwards they went shopping. A store clerk, apparently amazed by Josh’s vocabulary, complimented Byron on his grandson’s intelligence.

As they left the store, Byron turned to Josh and said, “How did I get so lucky to have such a smart grandchild?”

Josh stopped, put his hands on hips for dramatic effect, and said, “Well, Grandpa, I guess you just hit the jackpot!”

(Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome questions, suggestions and Grand Remarks of the Week. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD, 21285.)