Dear Grandparenting: It’s always the same at New Year’s. Kids who are otherwise perfect little angels will drive drunk and kill themselves. Cemeteries are full of young men and women who were too young to die, including my grandson David. He died 11 years ago while coming home from a party on New Year’s Eve. The top of his car was sheared off when he ran into the back of a tractor-trailer. Funeral services were closed casket.

I blame society, which takes a strong stand against young people becoming involved with illegal drugs. Yet learning to drink alcohol is still considered a rite of passage in many families! I’ve actually seen adults encourage their children to drink! When will America wake up to the fact that alcohol, not drugs, is the greater poison? — L.D., The Villages, Florida

Dear L.D.: In pre-Revolutionary America, young teenage apprentices were given buckets of ale while on the job. But the times are a changing: America used to wink at such excess, but now nearly half the states have enacted “host” laws holding parents liable for serving under-aged drinkers.

Yes, we know homes where children are allowed to drink semi-regularly in the belief it teaches “responsible” drinking. But increasing, more parents — perhaps as a backlash to the permissive mores of the 1960s-1970s — say “No!”

Research shows the beneficial influence of caretakers like parents and grandparents in this regard. A child who reaches age 21 without abusing drugs or alcohol is “virtually certain to never do so,” according to the National Center on Addiction and Drug Abuse. And other recent studies show the extent to which alcohol can damage developing teenage brains.

Grand Remark

“My grandson Eric said he seldom gets a bath. ‘Why not?’ I asked.

“I’m saving the soap for my little brother,” Eric replied. “He’s the dirty one.” — Rob, Coos Bay, OR