Dear Grandparenting: My name is Leisa and I want to share my story to help other grandparents with bleeding hearts like mine. In short, I am not allowed to visit my grandchildren because of a family issue that I am not at all involved in. It started when my son had a falling out with my mother over his wife. So then my son remained quiet and allowed my daughter-in-law to do and say hurtful things whenever I visited, dependent on her mood or by her commands. She ordered me around like I was her puppet.

I think my daughter-in-law maybe had post-partum depression, or was using drugs, because her thinking changed. Once she even had an affair and flaunted it. My mother gave them money to help with utility bills, and the money was spent on a motel with the boyfriend in front of the children. But I was there for them during this disaster.

My son has a boy age 7, and three girls between the ages of 5 and 2. These are wonderful children we can’t see. We missed all their birthdays and Thanksgiving. I called an attorney and was told grandparents have no rights. My husband and I want to be normal grandparents like all of our friends. The really sad part is I know the grandchildren ask why Nanny and Pappy don’t call like we used to, when each grandchild got to have their own conversation with us, one at a time. If I give up and stop trying, the grandchildren will think I don’t care. I pray for this pain to pass. — Leisa Cupp, Millersville, Penn.

Dear Leisa: We feel your pain, as do tens of thousands of other grandparents in the same boat. Grandparent visitation rights vary by state. In rendering their decisions, Pennsylvania’s courts consider 1) the child’s best interests, 2) prior grandparent/grandchild relationship, 3) impact on parent/child relations, and 4) parent’s marital status.

Grand Remark

“I always give my grandkids a couple of quarters when they go home. It’s a bargain.” — Gene Perrett, humorist

Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome letters. Send to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD 21285-0454