Dear Grandparenting: Like everybody else who watches their weight, I was interested in the recent study showing that people are more likely to become fat when they have fat friends. If that's true, my grandson Paul doesn't have a chance when he returns to school in a few weeks.

Paul lost lots of weight working in a lawn-cutting business over the summer. He really needed to shed those pounds, because diabetes runs in our family. So when Paul goes back to school and picks up with his same old circle of couch potato friends, I'm afraid he's doomed to pick up those pounds again. Since the study appeared in the highly respected New England of Medicine, it must be true. Any ideas? Tina, The Villages, Fla.

Dear Tina: The study is indeed food for thought. No pun intended. Researchers who tracked more than 12,000 people over 32 years reported that a person's chance of becoming obese increased 57 percent if they also had a friend who became obese during a given time. If their friend was the same sex, the probability jumped to 71 percent.

We don't doubt that social networks exert a powerful influence. Social norms shape individual decisions about all kinds of behaviors. But to say Paul is “doomed” to gain weight implies he takes no individual responsibility for his actions. (We assume Paul knows that obesity is associated with a number of serious medical conditions, including type 2 diabetes.) If Paul gains weight, don't blame his friends; there's already too much finger pointing in this world. Try looking on the bright side - if weight gain is spread through social networks, so might weight loss!

Grand Remark

Kerry Murphy from Philadelphia says she overheard her grandson Nicholas, age 8, explaining why he has a “perfect family.” Nicholas has three sisters and two brothers, so “everybody has someone else they can boss around!”

Dee and Tom, married more than 50 years, have eight grandchildren. Together with Key, they welcome letters to P.O. Box 27454, Towson, MD 21285-0454.