“Tim” moved to Sacramento in 2002 because he wanted to become a certified welder.

Instead, he became a tweaker.

For three years, he spent nearly every waking hour with methamphetamine coursing through his body. For days on end, Tim would stay awake, working tirelessly on pointless projects or boiling with rage at someone who had slighted him. In fits of anger, Tim lashed out, destroying property and inflicting harm on others and himself.

In order to finance his $100-a-day habit, he pawned practically everything he owned. When he ran out of things to sell, he started stealing. Even from his parents.

Wrong place, wrong time

Tim was 20 years old when he took his first hit of meth. He had enrolled in a welding certificate program in Sacramento and had made several friends. One of these acquaintances invited Tim to a house party, where plenty of alcohol was available. Having become fairly drunk, Tim found himself alone and searching for other partygoers.

“I poked my nose in the wrong place. I was cool, or I thought I was at that time,” he said, noting he had previously experimented with marijuana and mushrooms. “I knew exactly what I was doing.”

In grade school, Tim was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, which his doctor prescribed Ritalin and Dextrin to correct. After taking the first hit, Tim said it brought back memories of what it was like to use the medicinal drugs.

“It was kinda like a homecoming for me,” he said. “I was really focused. I could do tasks quickly, like a machine.”

For almost a year, Tim was able to finance his drug use with the proceeds from a car insurance settlement.

“I had intended to use the money to pay for housing while I was becoming certified,” he said. “As it was, I'd end up paying my rent and then the rest went into that stuff.”

Up, down, up, down

Tim's life became a series of cycles. He would remain awake for five to six days at a time, using on average a gram and a half of meth a day. When his body became so desperate for rest that no amount of artificial stimulant could keep him awake, Tim would sleep for 24 hours straight.

“By the time I woke up, it was the same story: I was in my next mode to get high,” he said.

During moments of wakefulness, Tim would play video games, listen to music, fiddle with his computer and work on useless projects. One such endeavor occupied nearly a month and a half of Tim's time. He took a collection of magazines and painstakingly cut out images precisely along their outlines. He then determined a method in which he could assemble all of his cutouts onto a 3-foot-by-5-foot table so nothing overlapped and every inch of the surface was covered. He then put a layer of varnish over his creation.

While still in the early stages of his addiction, Tim graduated from his welding certificate program. He applied for several jobs, but in each case, he was required to take a drug test.

“At that point I couldn't stay clean for three days to do the test,” he said.

In order to keep his head above water, Tim worked as a fast-food restaurant supervisor, but the income barely paid the rent.

“You begin to be apathetic. You can't function without it,” Tim said. “I would try to get clean, but if I didn't take it, I couldn't function. By trying to break myself of the habitat, it necessitated taking it.”

An ugly turn

Around the time the insurance payments stopped coming in, things changed. Before, he used meth for the pleasure it provided. Now, his sole reason for using was to get high. It also was around this time when Tim began seeing things.

“It was usually after a couple of days being up that I would become psychotic and aggressive,” he said.

“I would write up lists of people I wanted to kill. I would punch holes in the walls. I would burn myself,” Tim said, showing off a scar on his left wrist produced by a hold welding iron.

As Tim's body burned from self-inflicted wounds, many of his possessions went up in smoke, as well. The California native became a frequent visitor of Sacramento's pawn shops, where he sold his Playstation, his television, even his class ring.

“And I didn't care, I just knew I had to come up with the money,” he said.

Tim was arrested for possession of meth on the day after Christmas 2004. He had awakened after a seven-day binge and decided to sell some speakers. While he was driving to make the deal, he was spotted by a pair of police officers. Tim estimates he had enough meth on his person to keep an average person high for a couple weeks.

Tim had kept his addiction a secret from his parents. His arrest forced him to make a very difficult call.

“They were hopeful that I was just getting skinny, but I broke my mom's heart when she learned I was in jail,” Tim said, his dark eyes clouding over for a moment.

Taming the beast

After his parents collected him from jail, Tim lived at his parents' home. He attended a series of weekly meetings that taught him about the effects drugs can have on the body.

“They teach you about terms of denial and things like marijuana has more cancer causing tars in it than cigarettes,” he said. “If I were to do a drug now, I can't enjoy it.”

But enjoying drugs was not Tim's problem. He needed to stop the cravings that continued to control his life. Even under his parents' roof, Tim continued to do drugs. By this time, he had taken heroin, cocaine, crack cocaine, LSD, DXM and ecstasy.

He took things from his parents to get money for drugs. He was so brazen, he even snatched $700 out of their safe. The underlying problem was that Tim knew people who could quickly supply him with what his body wanted.

Finally, Tim decided he had had enough.

“The plan was for me to get a job in my hometown, but there really were no jobs there,” he said. “So I asked my mom for $1,000 to pay for an apartment in a place that has jobs. My mom could tell I was serious and we signed a contract.”

Tim moved here last November. He was able to find work as a welder and paid off the loan to his parents. On Nov. 21, Tim celebrated one year of being drug-free.

“It got to the point where my girlfriend said I was a different man, not the person she fell in love with,” he said. “Now, I can say that I'm happy. Life's little problems don't compare. I have money to spend on things that I need, like food.”

At the time of his arrest in 2004, Tim weighed 170 pounds. Today, he weighs 240. Although his 24-year-old body has filled out from the drug-wracked shell it once was, Tim's three-year binge has left several indelible marks.

Tim's teeth suffered damage that a dentist recently assessed would cost $10,000 to repair. And the impact on his psyche may never be reversed. Every month, Tim spends about $300 on anti-psychotics.

“I think I lost my sanity,” he said. “I'm almost afraid to not take (the anti-psychotics) to see what happens.”

Although he is aware of the meth problems in Coos County, Tim has been able to remain drug-free because he avoids situations that would put him at risk.

“I have to be very careful who I associate with. Up here, it's hard to make friends because I'm worried they might be using,” he said. “I have gotten to know some guys and they ask if I want to smoke a bowl and I think, there goes that friendship.”

Despite its reputation, Tim thinks there is a greater community awareness of drug use in Oregon than in California.

“When I was in Sacramento, I almost flaunted I was a tweaker,” he said. “I actually felt safe doing it. Law enforcement had bigger things to focus on. But here, they actual keep an eye out for (meth) houses.”

Along with money in his pockets and flesh on his frame, Tim is grateful to have a chance to have a normal life again.

“I like having a stable lifestyle, knowing what to expect of the next day, not having to worry how to get the next high or how you are going to pay for it,” he said. “I like going hiking and doing stuff that includes nature. I like to be able to talk with my parents.

“But I have to be careful, because it will find you again and give you an opportunity to do it,” he said.